The Friendsgiving Lifestyle | Episode 3: The "Check-In" Dinner
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Show Notes
Beat the mid-January slump and move past the "I'm fine" texts. In this episode, Sandra Colton-Medici teaches you how to host a "Check-In" Dinner—an evening intentionally designed to foster emotional intimacy and deep connection with your inner circle.
From low-maintenance menus to the psychology of lighting, learn how to create a space where your friends feel seen, heard, and safe to be their authentic selves.
What You’ll Learn:
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The Science of Atmosphere: Why lighting candles is your "Quick Win" for lowering defenses.
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Comfort in a Bowl: How to choose a "low-maintenance" menu (like chili or lasagna) so you can stay present at the table instead of hovering in the kitchen.
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The Rose, Thorn, and Bud Framework: A simple conversational tool to move beyond small talk and into meaningful sharing.
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The Art of Holding Space: Why you must ditch "Fix-it Mode" and embrace the role of a witness to your friends' experiences.
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The Gentle Pivot: How to use "Connection Cards" to transition the energy when the conversation feels heavy.
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Episode 3 Transcript:
[00:00:00] Welcome to the Friendsgiving Lifestyle Podcast, the space where we celebrate the power of community and the joy of gathering around a shared table. I'm your host, Sandra Colton Medici, and each week we explore how to create meaningful connections, lasting traditions, and delicious meals that make every guest feel at home.
[00:00:19] From hosting tips to heartfelt conversations, we're here to help you lean into the season of gratitude. So pull up a chair. There's always a place for you here, right at the table. Let's get started. Welcome to episode three. This is called the Check-in Dinner, Friendsgiving style. Hi everyone. I'm Sandra Colton Medici and we've done the detox.
[00:00:39] We've built the vision boards, but now we're hitting the mid-January slump where real life starts to settle back in. This is usually when the, how are you text, start getting the. I'm fine or just busy responses. Today we're breaking through that surface level chatter with the check-In dinner, we're talking about how to host a night that's specifically [00:01:00] designed for emotional intimacy.
[00:01:02] Your quick win for today is set the table with candles and actually like them. Science shows that soft, warm lighting naturally lowers our defenses and encourages deeper sharing. So. Let's get into it. Alright. What's on your menu for a check-in dinner? The food should feel like a warm and fuzzy hug. We want low-maintenance comfort.
[00:01:26] I'm talking about a big pot of a slow cooker chili. I actually make some pretty good chili myself. A hearty lasagna or a build-your-own baked potato bar. What is that action item you ask? You're gonna choose a menu that stays warm on its own. You don't want to be flipping scallops or checking the oven while a friend is mid-sentence, sharing something really heavy.
[00:01:49] The goal is for you to be fully present at the table and not hovering in the kitchen. February is coming, and like I said, in episode one, sometimes we are going to be covering things that [00:02:00] are two to four to six, even eight weeks ahead of time. So we're gonna be talking about Valentine's Day. In the last episode, I featured our brand new products, two brand new invitation cards.
[00:02:11] Valentine's Day typically becomes a very coupling type of event, which means you are either celebrating Valentine's Day, Valentine's Day, or even. Palin's day. That's why we have two different invitations on our website, the Friendsgiving Shop, and those are the Friendsgiving invitation for 2026, and also the Palin's invitation.
[00:02:33] So get on the shop, it's at friendsgiving shop.com, and check those out so that you can start inviting your besties to Palin's Day right now and get ahead of the game. Alright, let's get into that Rosen Thorn framework. To get past the how's work talk, you need an actual framework. My favorite is the Rose, thorn and Bud Method.
[00:02:56] So what is the rose? This is a highlight or something that you are [00:03:00] grateful for the thorn, a little bit of a challenge or something that is draining you. So what is the bud Something that you're looking forward to doing or looking forward to, or a new idea that is blooming here is your hosting hack. As the host, you go first.
[00:03:18] I know. I know. It's all about your besties and it's supposed to be about them, but you know what? Go first. Take the plunge. Do it first. If you keep yours at a surface level. Chances are your guests are going to stay at that level too. So if you're vulnerable about the thorn piece of this framework, then you give everyone else permission to be honest.
[00:03:41] So take a moment, think about what would your rose, thorn and bud be? If you have to take out your notes app, this will be the time. Write it down so that maybe you have a few. I would just take a moment to write it down so that as you work through invitations and planning and all of those things, you [00:04:00] don't have to worry about what you're going to say.
[00:04:02] You've already got it written down, and you don't have to be like, well, um, haw around it. You've got it right there in front of you. The next part of this is, let's hold space. What exactly is that? This is the most important part of the night. There's not a fix it mode. When a friend shares their thorn, you know, our, our typical instinct, our immediate sometimes instinct, is to just jump in with like, oh my gosh, I have such good advice for you.
[00:04:29] Don't do that. Okay. Here's the. Today we are just witnessing this. Okay? We are just listening before the meal starts. Tell your guests. Tonight is for listening. We aren't here to solve each other's problems unless someone specifically asks for help. This creates a massive sense of psychological safety.
[00:04:53] It's about being with your friends, not working. On them. Okay, so what happens [00:05:00] if the energy gets a little too heavy? It can, and that could be very, very real and you might have to do. A slight pivot, what would that pivot be? How would that pivot look? Have a few lighter, what we call connection cards or prompts ready?
[00:05:16] Ask something like, what's a small win that you had this week that felt bigger than it looked? This keeps the conversation focused on personal growth and internal check-ins. Rather than just venting, you want your guests to feel lighter, not like they just finished a therapy session. Alright, how are we gonna wrap up this gratitude?
[00:05:37] Real friendship isn't just about the highlights, it's about being there for the thorns too. When you host a checkin dinner, you're calling your friends. You're telling them You don't have to be on to be welcome at my table. And a lot of people feel like they have to be on all the time, not at this table.
[00:05:56] Next week we're keeping the warmth going with our winter soup [00:06:00] swap. I actually just got one of my favorite soups at the grocery store and it's the chicken corn chowder if you've ever had it. Um, it's at Albertson's. It's one of my favorites. Alright, with our winter soup swap. It's the ultimate low cost high yield gathering.
[00:06:16] One last thing, and it's a call to action and that is. Don't be afraid to subscribe to the channel. I know I am just shamelessly plugging this, but I would love it if you subscribed to the podcast, shared it with a friend, and also hung out with us over on my YouTube channel at youtube.com/at College of Style.
[00:06:39] I would definitely love to see you in all of the places on social and of course. Check out the shop with our brand new products. We are going to be releasing a lot of new things in the coming months. We have our first two products on the shop and we just released our first Spotify playlist, Friendsgiving January, 2026.
[00:06:58] So if you haven't had a chance to see [00:07:00] it, it is on our blog, but it is also in the show notes. I will list the link there so you can see it over there as well. Run, don't walk to our blog. Also, I think our blog is one of the best parts of the shop. So go over to friendsgiving shop.com. Click on where it says Journal at the top, and you will find all of our blog posts there.
[00:07:18] The Clean Slate Supper is the first blog post hydration stations creative infused water bars for January hosting. Goal Getter gatherings. How to structure a Vision Board. Potluck The Ultimate Guide to Hosting a Girl Scout cookie themed Friendsgiving, the inverted Friendsgiving, turning the table on the new food pyramid.
[00:07:39] A silicone soiree hosting a. Future forward robot assisted Valentine's and Valentine's Day Friendsgiving. That one is one of my favorites, and also the after party for progress. Why the MLK Post Parade? Friendsgiving is the new standard for [00:08:00] intentional community. One of our most recent posts is called Beyond the Board, following up on group goals in February.
[00:08:08] So check out all the blog posts on our journal and just know more is to come on the Friendsgiving Lifestyle podcast. I'm Sandra Cote Medici and I will see you at the table. And if you'd like to support the podcast, definitely send me an email at support. At Friendsgiving shop.com.