Valentine’s Day in the workplace has historically been a polarized affair.
On one side of the cubicle wall, you have the 'Grand Gesture' camp: red Mylar balloons bobbing in the HVAC draft, elaborate floral arrangements arriving at the front desk, and a pervasive, slightly suffocating scent of cheap chocolate.
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On the other side, you have 'The Great Silence,' a collective agreement to ignore the calendar entirely to avoid the inherent awkwardness of romantic expectations in a professional setting.
For many, this mid-February milestone is less about 'love' and more about the 'pressure of the performance.' It can leave teammates feeling left out, uncomfortable, or simply annoyed by the disruption of their workflow. The intensity of performance pressure can lead to reduced focus, ultimately resulting in diminished collaboration and creativity, a costly impact on team results that leaders should address promptly.
However, it's important to acknowledge that workplace celebrations can make people feel exposed and vulnerable. By shifting the focus to collective benefit and using the day to strengthen our community bonds, we can embrace a more inclusive approach. What if we stopped trying to force romance into a space where it doesn't belong and started celebrating the connections that actually keep the wheels turning?
It’s time to move past the red roses and heart-shaped candies. It’s time for the Spreadsheet-Soulmate-Social.
From Romance to Radical Appreciation
The inspiration for this shift comes from a model many of us already love: Friendsgiving. Friendsgiving took a holiday traditionally reserved for biological family and reclaimed it for "found family," the community we choose. By applying that same inclusive, low-pressure energy to Valentine’s Day, we can transform it from a day of romantic exclusion into a powerhouse for team morale.
Moreover, by emphasizing inclusion during this event, we foster a strategic advantage by widening participation, which naturally broadens the diversity of ideas and enhances innovation within the team. This approach not only promotes kindness but also injects a valuable business advantage that can drive faster adoption and greater success.
At work, your "found family" consists of the people who show up for you when the server goes down, the colleagues who help you troubleshoot a complex formula at 4:55 PM, and the office pals who know exactly how you take your coffee. These are your Spreadsheet Soulmates. They aren’t your romantic partners, but they are your professional partners, and that partnership deserves its own celebration.
The "Vibe Check Approved" Menu: Trendy, Fresh, and Shareable
The centerpiece of any Friendsgiving-style event is the food. As you step into the room, the enticing aroma of freshly prepared dishes mingles with laughter and lively chatter, instantly setting a festive mood. However, the days of soggy store-bought veggie trays and heavy, mayo-laden potato salads are behind us.
To make a potluck feel like a social event people actually want to attend, the menu needs to feel curated, vibrant, and most importantly, shareable.
Think of items that are visually appealing, diet-inclusive, and "handheld" for easy mingling. Here is a list of potluck items that feel modern and fresh. To ensure everyone can enjoy the offerings, consider using dietary cue cards next to each dish. Label allergens and identify items as vegan, gluten-free, or nut-free where applicable. This way, everyone feels welcomed and included in the celebration.
🥑 The Savory Spread
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Whipped Feta & Hot Honey Dip: A sweet-and-spicy crowd-pleaser served with pita chips or sliced Persian cucumbers.
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Deconstructed Elote Bowls: All the flavor of Mexican street corn (roasted corn, lime, cotija, tajin) served in a bowl for easy scooping with tortilla chips.
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Mini Banh Mi Sliders: Pickled carrots, daikon, cilantro, and protein on small crusty rolls. They’re punchy, colorful, and perfectly portioned.
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Kimchi Grilled Cheese Bites: Small sourdough triangles with sharp cheddar and tangy kimchi—comfort food with a modern twist.
- Smashed Cucumber Salad: Tossed in chili oil, garlic, and rice vinegar. It’s crisp, refreshing, and naturally vegan.
🍓 The Sweet Selection
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Matcha White Chocolate Blondies: Earthy, vibrant green, and just the right amount of sweet.
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Build-Your-Own Fruit Sando Bar: Slices of fluffy milk bread, whipped cream, and fresh strawberries or kiwi. It’s interactive and extremely photogenic.
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Espresso Martini Brownies: Fudgy brownies infused with coffee and topped with a silky ganache.
- Mochi Donuts: Naturally gluten-free and available in a variety of modern flavors like black sesame or ube.
🥤 The "Mood" Drinks
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Sparkling Hibiscus Mocktails: Deep red for the holiday theme, but sophisticated and booze-free.
- Oat Milk Iced Chai Pitchers: A cozy, trendy alternative to the standard office coffee pot.
How to Organize Without the "Chore" Factor
We’ve all been there: the dreaded email thread with 47 "Reply All" messages, three different Google Sheets, and the inevitable moment where five people sign up to bring napkins.
This chaotic communication often feels more like a project management task than an enjoyable social event, leading to disengagement. Such disorganization can erode trust within the team, suggesting a lack of coordination and respect for each member's time and contributions.
To build trust and keep the Spreadsheet-Soulmate-Social high-energy and zero-stress, you need to hack the signup process with an approach that shows everyone their efforts are valued and organized.
1. The "Visual Anchor" Signup (No Digital Fatigue)
Instead of another digital invite that gets buried in the inbox, use a Physical Poster in a high-traffic area (like the breakroom or by the coffee machine).
Cue playful branding to grab attention, how about tagging it with something like "Feed the Formula Magic"? This can spark curiosity and engagement right in the hallway.
- The Poster: Use a large sheet of butcher paper or a whiteboard.
- The Tiers: Draw three or four large circles labeled: "The Big Bites," "The Crunch & Dip," "The Sweet Stuff," and "The Hydration Station."
- The Action: Provide colorful markers or Post-it notes. People simply write their name and the name of their dish inside a circle. Seeing the visual "spread" grow in real time builds excitement and prevents five people from bringing the same thing without a single email.
2. The Emoji-Pulse Check
If your team is hybrid, use a single Slack or Teams channel specifically for the event. Pin one message with four emoji reactions representing the food categories (e.g., 🥟 for Savory, 🍪 for Sweet). Ensure there is a virtual host role that allows remote staff to lead and coordinate the discussions in the channel, leveling the participation field. This role can bring attention to updates in real-time and facilitate conversation.
- Ask people to react to the category they want to cover.
- This gives a quick "pulse check" of what’s missing.
- "We have plenty of cookies, but we're low on 🥟, who's feeling savory?"
3. The "No-Cook" Clause
Explicitly state that store-bought or "ordered-in" items are just as welcome as homemade ones. The goal is the social, not the soufflé. By removing the "performance" of cooking, you lower the barrier to entry for busy teammates.
Building a Stronger, More Inclusive Culture
At its heart, the Spreadsheet-Soulmate-Social is about Radical Inclusion. Think back to a time when a colleague genuinely recognized your efforts, making you feel seen and valued. That sense of belonging fuels motivation and teamwork.
By celebrating these connections, the Spreadsheet-Soulmate-Social aims to replicate that feeling across the team, building a workplace environment where everyone feels appreciated and included.
In a traditional Valentine's setting, there is a hierarchy of relationship status. In a Core-Memory setting, everyone is on level ground. There are no "plus-ones" or "singles," just a group of colleagues celebrating the fact that they’ve got each other’s backs.
✍️ The "Platonic Professional" Appreciation Station
Alongside the food, set up a small station with colorful Post-it notes and pens. Encourage people to write "Soulmate Shout-outs."
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"To Sarah: My spreadsheet soulmate. Thanks for catching that error in Row 402!"
- "To Mike: Thanks for always having the best 'meeting-after-the-meeting' energy."
These notes can be posted on a common wall or dropped into a bowl for reading aloud. It’s a low-stakes way to recognize the partnership, not the person.
🤝 Celebrating the "Work Village"
We spend a huge chunk of our lives with our coworkers. By rebranding February 14th, we acknowledge that professional intimacy, like sharing the stress of a deadline and the relief of a successful launch, is a valid and valuable form of connection.
Recognizing these 'work village' bonds can lead to tangible benefits, such as faster project cycles and reduced errors, as team collaboration strengthens and trust builds. This approach not only enhances personal relationships but also aligns closely with performance metrics, driving both morale and business results.
When we shift from "Who do you love?" to "Who do you appreciate working with?", we stop alienating our team and start empowering them. We move away from the "awkward" and toward the "authentic."
To make the Spreadsheet-Soulmate-Social successful, the key is providing prompts that lower the "cringe" factor and focus on actual professional value. You can print these on a sign next to a stack of Post-its to get the momentum going.
📝 The "Spreadsheet Soulmate Shout-Out" Prompts
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The Technical Savior: "To [Name], my spreadsheet soulmate. Thanks for fixing that formula/bug that was driving me wild."
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The Vibe Curator: "To [Name], thanks for always bringing the best 'meeting-after-the-meeting' energy."
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The Lifeline: To [Name], thanks for being the person I can ping when I just need a second set of eyes."
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The Calm in the Storm: "To [Name], I truly appreciate your calm energy whenever we are facing a tight deadline."
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The Brainstorm Buddy: "To [Name], thanks for being my favorite person to bounce half-baked ideas off of."
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The Unsung Hero: "To [Name], thank you for handling [Task] so I didn't have to. You're a legend."
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The Coffee Catalyst: "To [Name], thanks for the Slack pings that remind me to actually take a lunch break."
To further cultivate our culture of appreciation and ensure the momentum continues beyond the event, we can introduce peer recognition metrics.
By tracking the number of shout-outs and sharing this data later, you can reinforce a positive feedback loop. Highlighting the frequency and diversity of recognition can sustain energy and build a comprehensive picture of collaboration within the team.
Architecting Appreciation
By transforming individual moments of gratitude into a visible, data-backed narrative, you move beyond a one-time celebration and into a sustainable ecosystem of support. This structured approach to appreciation does more than just boost morale; it validates the "hidden" labor of team collaboration and establishes a new standard for how success is measured.
Ultimately, integrating these metrics ensures that the spirit of the event becomes a permanent fixture of your team’s identity, fostering a high-trust environment where every contribution is seen, valued, and built upon.
Take a moment to subscribe to the newsletter so we can keep this conversation going all year long. While you're here, listen to the latest episode of The Friendsgiving Lifestyle podcast. If you want to learn the history of Friendsgiving, check out "What is Friendsgiving?" - our complete guide.